Take a close look at the brand name of this exercise bike. 

It's called an ASSAULT bike.  Or as I like to call it, the ASSault bike. 

One thing I've learned since starting Cross Fit is that the warm up is extremely important.  It includes stretching to help prevent injury and getting the heart rate up a bit.  I much prefer the rowing machine for my warm-up.  But, sometimes I'm asked to warm up on one of the ASSault bikes, and it's not my favorite machine in the gym.

For one thing, the seat on the ASSault bike is not really meant to be sat upon...at least not for someone round like me. It's tiny and narrow and not the least bit padded.  It's like trying to sit balanced on a fence post...like a 4 X 4 fence post that is old and weathered with rusty nails sticking out of it.  That kind of fence post.

There's also something about the way the ASSault bike is constructed or balanced.  You perch on it rather than sitting on it.  You really have to use your core muscles just to keep from falling off!  It would be easier to balance with one of those long poles the Wallendas used, but I guess that would defeat the purpose.

And if that weren't tough enough, the handlebars on the ASSault bike move back and forth at a rapid rate sort of throwing you forward and backward while you're trying to balance on the fence post and pedal the required number of meters or calories. 

The result is that the whole time I'm cycling, I feel like the darned thing is trying to throw me off like a half broke mustang at a cheap rodeo!  It would be good exercise for bronc busters. 

I must admit, it's a good workout.  Four or five minutes on it, and I'm plenty warmed up...and usually pretty pissed off.

But, I'm also saddle sore!

So, I've decided I'm going to start taking a pillow along to the gym.  I have a nice little quilted pillow in floral pastel colors that will be just right.  There I'll be, perched on the ASSault bike with my white hair and my pink and yellow pillow, like a little old lady going for a Sunday afternoon ride on her fat fluffy Shetland.

I'm sure it will be a first in any Cross Fit gym.  But, I'm gonna show that ASSault bike who's boss!